I'll admit, my recent optimistic posts were always filtered through rose colored glasses. This time, it's no longer possible. Some of those "possible" tumors have actually continued to grow. The other areas have become stable, but in general the cancer has spread, albeit slowly, into lots of different locations. Some growth has even shown itself on the right side of the brain. There aren't a lot of choices for treatment. From what I can tell right now, the options are simple: stay with Temodar, but shift to a more consistent schedule where I take it every day for 6 weeks at a lower dosage, or; switch to CCNU with the hope that the areas still growing through the Temodar become hammered by the old school chemo. Of course, the best stuff is not held until the end. The best stuff is offered first. So you see, these choices are not particularly enticing in general. This makes it difficult to get excited. There is, of course, some hope. But more to the point, and more towards reality, I am hoping to enjoy whatever it is I have remaining. Taking a drug that will make my life miserable does not fit the bill. Especially since there is so little evidence in this case for misery to lead to a long life.
That said, it is still not entirely clear which of my options will reduce the misery and allow the most enjoyment I have left, whatever that may be. They each have there negative side-effects, and from what I've read, the risks move all over the place. So there, dear readers, is the moment I could certainly use some advice. You have the two options available. I'll be curious to hear your opinions.